I am speeding towards a head on collision and I cannot stop it. The impact is going to be earth shattering.
I feel so overwhelmed most of the time I am so sad about this, I just want to dig in my heels and say “NO NO NO” I am not going on this journey. I’m not doing it!
My husband is regressing and is having problems with most everything. Direction, movement, thought process and bathroom issues. I get him up put on his clothes and shoes for him. I point him to which room he wants to go because he gets confused. I shave him – I actually like it I feel closer to him.
I waver from being resigned and trying to do the best I can to totally stressing out and wanting to shut down. My sister is helping me without her I would not know what to do. Home health is between 19.00 and 23.00 an hour who has that type of money?
As stressed as I am financially – emotionally I am drained just the thought of being without my husband makes me want to fall to the ground. I am paying my sister $10.00 an hour. It adds up to a minimum of 800.00 a month, and I am only working part time. I am basically trading my pay check for my husbands care – but I still have the great insurance that is giving us the best neurologists available.
There is always a silver lining (I think…)