Speeding Towards a Head On Collision

I am speeding towards a head on collision and I cannot stop it. The impact is going to be earth shattering.

I feel so overwhelmed most of the time I am so sad about this, I just want to dig in my heels and say “NO NO NO” I am not going on this journey. I’m not doing it!

My husband is regressing and is having problems with most everything. Direction, movement, thought woman in destressprocess and bathroom issues. I get him up put on his clothes and shoes for him. I point him to which room he wants to go because he gets confused. I shave him – I actually like it I feel closer to him.

I waver from being resigned and trying to do the best I can to totally stressing out and wanting to shut down. My sister is helping me without her I would not know what to do. Home health is between 19.00 and 23.00 an hour who has that type of money?

As stressed as I am financially – emotionally I am drained just the thought of being without my husband makes me want to fall to the ground. I am paying my sister $10.00 an hour. It adds up to a minimum of 800.00 a month, and I am only working part time. I am basically trading my pay check for my husbands care – but I still have the great insurance that is giving us the best neurologists available.

There is always a silver lining (I think…)

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About Sarah Maude

My life has been full of twists and turns. I have been wanting to do a personal blog for a long time and so here it goes. To know who I am and what I am about - subscribe! Looking forward to your comments.
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