Since the passing of my parents – 2 short years ago, I have been in a sort of daze. I cannot really put my finger on it but I just don’t find joy in life.
Being a successful business owner – and working in my profession for years use to give me satisfaction, but now I find it is not as fulfilling. I hope this changes.
Of course I do find those sparks of joy when I have my grandkids – or see their little faces. Just the sound of there voice makes me smile.
I guess that is why I am writing this blog. I am sure a lot of you out there feel the same way in differing degree’s.
I have been finding that if I force myself to do what I need to – not just sit around and become immersed in the TV or play video games until my fingers are numb I feel a lot better.
I can kind of see how people start hording or eating or anything to make them numb. I have put on 30lbs in the last year and 1/2 and I just have to do what I need to do without the negative dialogue I have in my head.
It is a worry – I know that what we do on a daily basis is what makes our life successful or not. I am not going down the right track. As a young girl and woman I was such a positive and happy girl. How sad
I feel, it is as if I have lost her and in her place is this sad, grumpy, old woman “did I really say that!”.