It boggles my mind many people from all walks of life tell me that my husband is so lucky – or I am so different/special from most people because I choose to take care of my husband when he is dying. If that is the case what is wrong with society it just seems perfectly natural to me that when you love someone, you take care of them. Remember that part “through sickness and in health”!
As tough as this is emotionally there isn’t a day that goes by I am not grateful to be able to express my love to him.
I know sometimes people we love end up going to a nursing home like my grandpa. He had Alzheimer’s he was a lot bigger than my grandma, he started getting physically aggressive. It broke her heart, but she had to put him in a rest home; she didn’t have a choice. The one she chose was right down the street from my mom’s house, and she was there every day feeding him, taking care of him and being his advocate.
My heart breaks for people that are put into rest homes like they are being warehoused just waiting to die. They don’t have visitors and somehow their relatives think they will not know that difference it is sickening.
The other day a friend of my husband’s came in who he hadn’t seen for a long time the biggest smile came across his face. Don’t tell me he wasn’t happy and aware that he was loved and cared for.
As time has gone on my husband has all but lost his voice literally he whispers 90% of the time. He is not eating very much some days nothing at all. He has gotten so thin he looks anorexic all signs of him losing the battle.
I did see more frustration this morning he didn’t want to go showers, and he was fighting about getting cleaned up. The more I insist the more he resisted – but he has to get it done we don’t want bed sores or problems.
Like the nurse said he is having more and more downtime less and less good times. I still see his spark and smile but a lot less often.
I may have said this before, but Dolly (our nurse) has been talking to me about getting out and planning what I am going to do. Getting involved with projects, etc. because when the time comes if I have built up these things it will help.
I don’t know how true that is – it is really hard to think about doing anything besides spending time taking care of him…