I received a comment on one of my articles, so I popped over to Lux’s blog (About Life and Love). What I found was interesting articles, one in general really made me think. It was called 10 Random Life Lessons.
The life lessons were simple to the point and made me think.
Who knows why we fall in love with people who hurt us – my first marriage was like that.
I, being loyal and believing in marriage worked so hard to try to build a home when I should have left many years before I did. I just really wanted to believe this man loved me as much as I loved him. And boy did I love him – innocent wide-eyed love in a way I will never love again.
Instead of watching his actions – I believed his pretty words. When he would berate me or even hit me, he was always so sorry. When he cheated on me – of course he will never do it again if only I did xyz it wouldn’t happen. I couldn’t leave my kids needed a father – things would be good after a while then turn really ugly, and the cycle begins.
When he hit my daughter who was 13 I just could not stay – it was like god picked me up one day and placed us out of harms way. I believe it was the arms of God because I didn’t have a choice.
I left with nothing but my kids and the clothes on their back – literally. I didn’t want anything that would cause him to be angry or retaliate. Material things were of no importance.
After 16 years it was over and scarred my kids and I forever. That is the saddest part I was doing the opposite of what I should have been doing – my kids didn’t need this type of father. And to this day my son will not communicate with him.
That was 25 years ago – it was painful only because it was the end of my dream.
When I think back and try to analyze why I would put up with this – I believe it is because I had an absentee dad. I just wanted to be loved – and since I was a little girl, my goal in life was to have children and a family.
I was only 16 when we met, and I knew nothing about life; I was innocent – he was 24.
Need I say more…