In October I was sure I was going to lose my husband he was so sick, sleeping 90% of the time and just not interactive unaware of conversations. He was making no sense at all speaking about abstract things throughout the day. As you can tell in my last few posts I was trying to keep calm and not panic but I couldn’t keep it together.
Then the last week of October he seemed to come alive again – more present and awake 
much more during the day. That is the thing about this disease it is a roller coaster but as the time wains his good days get less. The fact he had another bounce back was a relief.
You may think I am selfish for wanting him here and I think about that. I feel his love and we connect in a much more spiritual way so yes in that sense I am selfish and want him here. On the other hand I know he doesn’t have the life he would want.
I have to realize at this point it is all in Gods hands
