I have an incomprehensible fear I cannot explain. Fear of 
the unknown, living life without my husband, not knowing what to do with my life.
My husband is bigger than life its self; he fills a room with his energy and even now that he is so sick it cannot be ignored.
Always on the go not a lazy bone in his body – now with his illness, it can be a problem he is so antsy and cannot stay still, wanting to get up and go to work, go home, see his mother. The problem stems from the fact his is retired, is home and his mother passed away many years ago.
Dementia is such a cruel thing and along with Parkinson’s it is a double whammy – in the beginning, I would have to take him out and drive him around and come back home then he would be satisfied. Now that he is having trouble getting around that hasn’t been so easy. Usually, I can divert his attention.
I know many people are going through this or have and only those of us who have had this challenge can really understand what it does to our spirit, body and soul. This realization doesn’t really stop me from feeling alone.
No one can stop this, and no one can make it better…
I have to go through the pain to get to the other side – it is excruciating .
