Now that I know how panic attacks feel I will not longer trivialize it…
My husband has been sleeping more, eating less and can barely speak. All the signs told to me about how he would decline. Last night, I noticed when he slept his hands were not sitting normally they were balled up (hard to explain).
When I see this slow painful down-slide, it is beyond upsetting. The one thing that I am having now is panic attacks. I probably talked about my first one month’s ago but last night it started again if you have never had a panic attack you could not understand the sheer horror one feels.
I decided to take ½ of a sleeping pill and go to bed. My brother usually calls later in the evening, so I called him first. The thing that astonished me was in the middle of our conversations, I just started losing my breath and crying.
It was a type of crying I have never experienced before, not loud not sobbing just an out pour of emotions. It wasn’t a long cry but just enough to show my sorrow, and I had no control. My poor brother was saying oh, oh, oh, what can I do (in a soft tone)?
There is nothing he or anyone else can do.
Dear God I pray help me through this time of pain…
