Warts and All

I am using this great software that my client bought  for me. It is called Dragon; I am, however, getting frustrated because just like everything else it takes time to learn it. It’s really neat all you need to do is train your software to know what your voice sounds like, and you can talk into the microphone, and it types it out for you. So I’m sure I will love this software once I get it all programmed but, just like anything else it takes time.

Right now, I am considering going to overeaters anonymous. I am hoping that I can just do this on my own and eat in moderation. I have the outline. I know what to do, I probably have more knowledge than a fitness guru. The trick is just doing it! Not to take from a Nike commercial, but it’s the truth we all need to just do what is good for us. I shouldn’t talk in such broad terms; some of us do what we need to do without hesitation. Even so, my life is chaotic at best and full of challenges some of which I caused myself.

I am the creative type, I don’t like having rules. Everything in life has rules, so in this lays the conundrum. I believe I just need to light my fire, get my juices flowing, and

find my passion. I used to think it was being a successful business owner. But now that I’m older and I’ve seen success in the business world, I find that it is something a lot more fleeting. I don’t know if it is finding a purpose, making a difference or just listening to myself, going with my intuition.

I think as one gets older and lose those they love the meaning of their lives shift and we find that we grapple with who we are. I am bound and determined to discover this in 2013. I’m giving myself a year to shift and grow. To explore and delve into my psyche, and together perhaps we can see what lies in our future. I have always put myself last, and it time to start putting myself first. Not in an egotistical selfish way but in a healthy caring for yourself way. I am sure as women we all go through this at least most of us, I do know some selfish woman who have never thought of anyone else. But that is the exception rather than the rule.

So I as a woman over 50 am going to take the oath to take care of myself, find my joy in life again, and find new and exciting directions to go.

Won’t you join me in this quest? I hope you do I look forward to your comments and hearing about your life, warts and all!

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Posted in Losing Loved Ones, My Life, Relationships | Leave a comment

Christmas Memories

 

My head is filled with memories of Christmas past. As a child we were poor and didn’t have a lot. My mom was paraplegic; she couldn’t get out and work – my dad, well he was in and out alcohol got the best of him.

I am the oldest of 4, so I tried to help the best I could but how much can a child help?

 

I realize how blessed I am to have had such a rich life. We may have been poor, but my mom’s love was unconditional. She lived for her children, and I never had a doubt in my mind that she loved me with all her heart.

One Christmas Eve I heard a loud knock at the door. When I opened the door there sat stacks of Christmas gifts beautifully wrapped. Nobody in sight – just those beautiful presents (I was around 8) There must be a Santa Claus!

When I was older, I found out it was my Aunts who had provided us with this splendid gift. My mom had no idea it was them for many years.

I learned to never underestimate the lives you can make bright with just a simple gesture of kindness. No matter how big or small…

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Diagnosis? Lewy Body Syndrome

Lewy Body Syndrome…

Those three little words have struck terror in my heart. At first, we thought it was just Parkinson’s (not that it isn’t devastating enough), but then we went to a specialist, the diagnosis? Everything points to a Parkinson’s  like disease only much more insidious – it causes dementia not only does one have physical symptoms – it affects the brain. How can I put my arms around that ?

Only those of you who are in the same circumstance as I am – a husband with a  terminal degenerative disease can truly understand the emotional devastation that comes with learning something like this.  Our journey is going to be a hard one – God willing we will be able to chart the course given us. What else can we do?

There are going to be a lot of tears and prayers – for that I guarantee…

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Posted in Growing Older, My Life, Parkinson's Disease | 1 Comment