OK – I have had a rough day or two, and I am trying to grapple with it all. I feel totally alone in the world I have family; my husband has family, but they are busy in their lives.
We should have such a close bond right now I am helping him dress, get in and out of bed making all the meals, being the chauffeur, and taking care of the house. I am working and carrying his insurance that gives him top notch care what more can I do.
He has always been a difficult person – but at least he lived in reality. I think I am going to need to tap into some counseling. My insurance does have that option I just don’t feel I can afford the time – I will try other things first, but I think I may be running out of options.
I was so surprised and happy my husband’s brother Antoni jumped on a plane (from Texas) and came over just to see my husband. Antoni was worried because when he talked with my husband over the phone, he was not communicating very well.
Antoni being the cheapskate of the family – it was hard to believe he came and spent money for two tickets only to stay for two days. My husband was beyond happy! When people show they care, and I can see that my husband still feels valuable and loved there is nothing more important to me in the world.
Antoni and his wife flew in on Sunday afternoon – visited us for the evening. Then on Monday he took my husband for the day, and they went and visited relatives who lived within close proximity.
In the late afternoon, my husband came home for a nap – Antoni dropped him off it wasn’t long until my husband was back up dressed and wanted to go spend some more time with Antoni and his wife. So we headed to his other brother’s house where Antoni was staying – no one was home. I saw his sister’s car in the driveway, so I decided to go over to a restaurant that his brother owns knowing they would be there. Yes, they were all over there having dinner – two sisters, two brothers, two sister-in-law’s and a niece. I was upset. Why didn’t they invite my husband, I walked in and said do you mind if we join you? Of course Stefan his other brother acted like he was so happy we came – the others didn’t know what to say looked uncomfortable. They were all but done with their dinner – I did order soup and a wrap for my husband and I because it was faster.
Does his family do have no compassion? This happens all the time they leave my husband out because he has problems – it is so wrong and hurtful.
It is amazing to me how his family (most of them) seems to think because he cannot communicate like he once did that he is invisible. Take, for instance, his 75th birthday – the family party was great but his family just left him sitting there at a table on his own. When my brother got there he sat and talked to him and took him walking out in the court yard. That is how it should be, his family is ignorant, are they so uncomfortable or clueless they don’t know how much they hurt him when he is treated like that? It’s not like he doesn’t know what is going on at this point. He knows everyone and understands much more than they give him credit for.
I hope all of you who are reading this understand how important it is to treat someone with a handicap with love, respect and compassion. It makes such a difference to their lives and the lives of their families.
I was reading a blog written by a woman whose father had dementia, and it was really painful to read. It was powerful but everything was so sad, and it made me fell hopeless. I identified with that, but each passage I read made me more depressed.
You may think what bright spots – what could possibly be right about this? I have that same though sometimes, but we cannot let life’s challenges defeat our spirits. There are always things we can learn and grow from.
I am struggling daily as my husband’s illness gets harder to live with, the last three nights, I have not gotten any sleep because he was delusional and thought I was not his wife – where is she….
At times like these, I am so tired and drained that I feel like giving up, but I have no choice but to survive. I am trying to find an answer to this, so I do not get sick in the process, It seems the sicker he becomes the less his family wants to help. I have a small family that is willing to help, but they can only do so much.
I will get on my knees and look for answers “I Have To” that is my only hope to survive this period of my life.