Personal Stories of Triumph, Pain and Everything In-between…

My Life

Life takes many twists and turns – this is my life’s path.

Real Love – True Spiritual Lasting Forever

I know I made the right decision when I walk into the room and his eyes light up, and he gives me that big beautiful smile.Real Love

When he can see me when he wakes up in the morning and goes to bed at night.

When he says come over here – when he is waiting for me to come home.

When he has the dignity and love he deserves – and can get only at home.

“I love him so much – this is what real love is.”

Pure unadulterated LOVE

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“I know this path is one I need to take I have no choice…”

My emotions are so volatile. One minute I am seeing improvement in my husband the next I am worried I won’t have him for much longer.  I know Parkinson’s with Lewy Body does have this characteristic. Your body cannot regulate itself so one day your blood pressure may be high, and then it drops. One day it seems things are going well – the next not so much.

I quit my job at the state I had worked there for close to 16 yrs. Part time but it gave me full benefits so our insurance was great and paid for. I thenGiven Path also have my own business, when my husband became ill I could no longer run my business and just took on old clients no new ones.

I quit my job for many reasons, but in the end I know I needed to stay home with my husband. He will see my face when he wakes up and when he goes to bed. I can make sure that he gets what he needs, and I can take the precious time I have with him and soak it in.

He will be able to be fully covered on Medicare part A, so he doesn’t need any more insurance, and I have found affordable insurance for myself.

I am on the path I need to be and was guided to.  A year ago, I would not have known how I would be able to afford to live let alone quit my job.  Now through investments, I could  pay off my house, get a new car with cash and put money in the bank for my husband’s care. All because my husband was a very smart business man and left me the tools. It took lots of prayer and guidance, but you know when you are on the right track things fall into place.

And when you are following a voice that seems to guide you – things go the way they should. This is the second time during my life it is as if God just picked me up and showed me the way. I didn’t have a choice – the path was in front of me…

Thank You God…

 

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I have started feeding my husband more finger foods – I do still make curry and tradition Indian food, but I usually feed him with that. The other night I gave him curried chicken with Nan (bread) when the Nan was gone; he was rolling it up with the paper towel and eating it.

A few nights ago I cut up some little crusty sandwiches and made some spicy – sweet honey mustard. He loved it – he was chowing Spicy Mustarddown and ate the whole small bowl of spicy mustard with it. At 3 in the morning, he wakes up with tremendous pain in his bottom left rib. Moaning and seeming out of breath. I tried to make him comfortable nothing worked so I called the nurse who had me open up the emergency pack she gave me. Inside were different syringes of medicine one of them was morphine. He doesn’t take any pain medication, so I was really hesitant to give it to him, but the nurse reassured me. It was a very small dose.

Then I gave him a Zanax because he was so upset and making things worse. He fell asleep as I was looking up what it could be on my phone the number one this was heartburn, indigestion. I know that can cause severe sharp pains – I believe it was the mustard he ate didn’t agree with him.

Years ago, I had a dog named Willey, and I would feed him table scraps, one day I  feed him some spicy mustard to see what he would do. He ended up with pancreatitis,  I had to spend over 1000.00 to get him well.

I almost killed my dog with mustard and now my husband.

The next day he would not get up he just sleep no pills no eating no drinking. I was worried he is already dehydrated. The nurse came his vitals are OK the medicine just knocked him for a loop. Then yesterday we got him out of bed, but he really didn’t know what was going on. He was unaware of anything and was just wide-eyed and tarring. When I would talk to him, he would answer back but not in a way I could understand.

Now I am really worried – maybe I shouldn’t have given him the medicine could that have caused him to digress, will he get any better.

My heart  is breaking into a million pieces….

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