Oatmeal Disaster

One of his favorite breakfasts use to be oatmeal, not anymore…

Something  has happened that is a little strange.  My husband used to love oatmeal in the morning with nuts, raisins, dates, etc. One day I fed him oatmeal just like he loved it and when I turned around he was spitting out all the hard pieces right on the table. Now this guy is Mr. polite society, so he would have been horrified to know he had done this. Currently I make his oatmeal with Oatmealbutter, cream, maple syrup. The things he would have avoided in the past. It gives him extra calories since he is so skinny now and it is delicious… Problem solved.

This morning I to cut up onions, peppers, potatoes into little pieces and cook them on the stove until they were really nice and crisp.  Then I  cooked eggs over easy – put all the delicious  at the bottoms of the plate and then lay  the eggs on top. It is scrumptious. This is something we have enjoyed for breakfast for a longtime.

Once again today I went to feed him, and he started spitting out the crispy pieces, he hated them. He would only eat the eggs.

From  now on oatmeal and everything else will be smooth, I will make sure there are not small chunks of anything in his food.  It’s just kind of odd  how this illness has affected his perception.

 

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Aggressive Behavior

Seeing this aggressive behavior is frightening, I hope it isn’t a sign of things to come.

What a tough day – it started with my husband sleeping in until 1:30 when I tried to wake him up no response. We took his vitals, which were OK I finally woke him up so the CNA Cynthia could give him a shower he lashed out. Grabbed my arms – wouldn’t let go, when I got away from him, he grabbed at the Cynthia’s face! He has never done that before, he was upset because he thought I Dealing With Aggressive Behaviorhad not been at the house taking care of him.

Then when we brushed his teeth and had him rinse he wouldn’t spit out the mouth full of water he was being stubborn; we were worried he may choke on it. I had Cynthia go home and worked for three hours trying to get him to spit it out. Finally when I stuck my fingers in his mouth he spit it . Just the worry and stress of that simple thing wore me out.

We left him in bed today because I didn’t know how he was going to react while he was up. I hate keeping him in bed, now he is fine and I am feeding him grapes.

I have seen some really aggressive behavior I just hope it isn’t something that will continue. I know with Alzheimer’s people do get aggressive and mean. In fact, my grandfather was so mean that my grandma had to put him in a rest home. It was a good one, and she was there every day until he died feeding him lunch and dinner. She loved him and was so dedicated to being there – she was a great role mode. I just wish I understood what she was going through I would have been a much better granddaughter.

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Do I have the Strength?

With each level of these diseases along with substantial life changes my strength is constantly tested.  I am afraid I am about to undergo one of the hardest things of all…

The last few days have been very emotional for me. My husband is going downhill – for the first time he didn’t know who I was it was just for a moment, but it is heart breaking.Strength

He is down to 125 lbs and at his healthy weight, he was 182 – the last time we weight him; he was 140 now 124 so skinny.

He is not making any sense at all – he jabbers in his language and when I can understand him, he worries about his grown kids being OK.  His kids never come and see him – his sons are too busy it breaks my heart. His daughter does and he is so happy when she, and his granddaughters come over.

It a misnomer to think he doesn’t know when people come to visit him. They are thinking that he doesn’t know who they are anyway – but he does feel their love and energy. He needs his children to come and just love him.

They are in their 40’s for god sake, it’s not like they are children.

I have always put off making funeral arrangements of any kind I thought when the time comes we will deal with it. Now that I really think the time is near, I am compelled to start getting things together. I don’t want all of his many brothers, sisters and children to come in and just take over.

It’s funny how as time goes on I am changing and rapidly. For the first time in my life I feel like an adult like I am stronger I didn’t realize the strength I had.  Having to take charge and figure everything out myself this last few year makes me realize how strong I really am.

Going through it I felt like I was going to fall to pieces I didn’t.

Now is the greatest test of all when I think of life without my husband I just want to melt into the floor and die…

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