My life has taken such a tumble that it is hard to make sense of everything.
It has now been 6 months since my husband’s passing and I do have some “good” days. Most of the time I still feel immense pain and heart break.
It is like I was a bit numb for a while but now the awakening is fully realized. I keep telling myself to just do building block to reconstruct my life. One block at a time
The other day my kids and I went to the grave. On the grave stone is a picture of my husband and myself. When I looked down on those smiling faces I realized that is not me 
anymore – I am a ghost of myself. You could say at this point in my life I feel like I have died with him…
I have struggled because of that this week. A good thing did happen though a friend that had not been around reconnected, and it has been sincerely helpful to be able to talk and relate to someone that understands the pain. They to have a spouse that is terminal and there is the difference between someone who really know what I am going through and have gone through.
Everyone else has been great, but I understand that they really cannot understand fully unless they have been through it themselves. That is what makes this friendship so special, and I am hoping we can continue to support each other and bring a bit of levity in each other’s lives.
